I've had a fantasy during my early days at Khaleejesque. It still hasn't come true so divas, after finishing this column, take into consideration my fantasy and please make it happen. I'm not asking for Alessandra Ambrosio to be my personal assistant or a lifetime supply of macarons on my desk. Come to think of it, I don't have a 'my desk'. That should be on my list as well. Anyways, divas, readers and all who read Man Outnumbered, this is an S.O.S.

And a good afternoon to you all my adorable little Brussels sprouts. How has this multi-weathered month of March treated you? We had 6000ºC of heat, sandstorms, cold winter nights and a depressing mixture of rain and grey clouds. We might as well expect a combination of snow and rainbows in the upcoming weeks.

One thing that I thought was hilarious which the divas never noticed is that yesterday at exactly 1:26 PM at the office, we all had the same sitting pose with either the right or left hand on one cheek. It's either we are all wise and deep thinkers or we're just naturally-born posers for life.

Oh my diet? It's great! Thanks for asking. I've lost kilos faster than Charlie Sheen lost his career. I'm playing football regularly and not JUST as goalkeeper and I have the gift that every single being on their earth looks for. The gift of refusing food. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, J'ai ce pouvoir. (X-Grande Latte, help them out here).

The week at the office was quite quiet. (Say that 20 times fast without sounding like a duck). We started off Sunday with a couple of lame jokes. Here's one for you: What's red, round and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator. Please continue reading the column? I'll come up with a better joke at the end. Captain said an even lame one so blame her too.

I have to give thanks to something that has given us so many good times at the office filled with joy and laughter. It's not the comfy chair that we all fight for or the fact that we receive the weirdest invites to events and restaurants in Kuwait. Readers, let me introduce you to 'The Window'. Readers, The Window, The Window, Readers. The Window has always been our main source of stalking, spying and taking 20 minute breaks after writing long, intense articles. We witnessed the birth of baby pigeons, the attack of killer tiny ants and even a fight, but unfortunately I wasn't there to see it but I heard it was a good show.

I have to buy coffee for someone at the office for a WHOLE MONTH. I won't say who but I'll just say it's not my fault 'someone' at the office would rather watch Glee, Gossip Girl and anything girly with hot guys who drive nice cars and can sing rather than watch a TV series about scandals, murders and beautiful woman. Was that last point why she didn't watch it? Oh well, I'm hooked on it!

I've finally decided to raise the number of books I read to 3. YES 3. I read the great David Beckham biography I mentioned some columns ago and now I am pleased to announce that I, Man Outnumbered, will be reading a book on weight loss and a weird book with a weird title. I'm more interested in the weight loss book but you never know, I could finish those two books in a day and go on a book-shopping spree! No? Yeah I thought so.

Anyways, my beans, see you next week and enjoy the rest of March and Happy April! Peace.

Wait, I almost forgot about the fantasy! Divas, when I enter the office one day, I'll say "Good morning" angels and you can reply "Good morning Charlie!" (That's from Charlie's Angels for those who are lost) Yes, that is my fantasy. Make it happen, divas.

Adnan Al-Timimi is the only male editor in the female dominated Khaleejesque workspace. Follow Adnan’s column to know more about his unique experience in this unusual territory.

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